Letter to Oprah

Dear Oprah,
       
                                    Thank you for letting me waste an hour of my time yesterday watching your last show. I don't really watch your show. I only watched this time because I felt like I needed to be apart of "history" as everyone is calling it. If ten years from now I see you in the school history books I'm going to puke because then it means our world's gone to hell and nothing important matters anymore.
Your last show sucked. I thought you would have gone out in a big bang or something, but no. It was you standing there talking and crying. I thought there would be some big giveaway or some big name performer, you know like the thing we think of when we think Oprah. But no you fooled us. People out there spending hundreds of dollars to come to your last show and they got nothing but you talking.
I missed Ellen to watch your last show. Ellen had Justin Bieber on. I don't care too much for the kid, but I would had gladly watched him other than you talking and crying.
Thank you for wasting a hour of my life. Thank you for making me turn on Ellen for a day. I hope you're happy.

Love,
Not really a fan
Darlin' Mama

P.S.
Sorry Ellen, it won't happen again, promise.